What ever happened to bumble bee girl?

Seriously what happened to her, I'm about to look it up. For those of you not cool enough to know, or like Hippy love child who was born after this video debuted, I'm talking about the girl dressed like a bumble bee in Blind Melon's "No Rain" video. She's depressed because no one likes her or wants to be her friend until she finds a field full of other people in bumble bee costumes. It is as whacked as it sounds and much to nobody's surprise the lead singer died shortly after making this music video of a drug overdose. When I was a kid it was the first music video I remember seeing a lot on MTV...yeah remember when MTV used to play music because you know...MTV stand for Music Television. It would be like if BET only showed episodes of Married With Children, Modern Family, and Friends. Anyways, I used to call it the dancing bumble bee song and nobody in my family knew what I was talking about until I finally showed it to them, watch it here and I think you'll understand why the lead singer died of an overdose.

Apparently she was in a bunch of other music videos and has small roles in several movies and tv shows. Some how she also had time to graduate college and she was born in '83 so she's 34 now, and looks like this.
 

 

I'm assuming because she looks like this her acting career is basically over and she is now a business owner of some candy company in CA. Apparently she greatly enjoys her own product. This is mostly according to Wikipedia, you know how accurate they are, so take it for what it's worth.



So all my journalism professors first at Southern, until I switched majors because the journalism department head who was in charge at this time I was there was a complete dick, and the much nicer more professional ones were at Quinnipiac would be disappointed in me because I buried the lead. For those of you not cool enough to know what that is it means that I didn't start with the most important and interesting information first. So yeah, it did not have to do with bitch face for once...but this time the cops came and I almost got arrested thanks to the ex-wife. Much like bitch face, who is the comedy gift that keeps on giving. I will still write jokes about the ex-wife in here but this is the last time I am going into detail about all this shit with her. Not really sure how I really got to this point with her today but it happened. And the cop showed up and basically yelled at both of us to be mature and work our problems out like adults. God help me I'm trying to be more patient and nice to her but she's just so FUCKING ANNOYING! Ok, last years drama aside, look it up I'm not writing about it again. After all the shitty things that we have said and done to each other I want to move on and be happy. I'm glad you found someone that can put up with your crazy ass but for fucks sake let me move on and find happiness myself. Apparently, it is ok for her to date and fuck whoever she wants but not me. First, you got pregnant last year by some rando and said I had no right to be mad or feel upset because we were never officially together. Well, biotch I was never paying other worker bills or they never asked me to get a room at Mohegan Sun so we could spend the night together. Yeah she'll deny she did all this but she did. Now whenever I hire someone new she's convinced they are there to take her spot and hours, never likes any new person I hire, and does her best from stopping me from communicating with any other girl while she is working. Even ones that I am strictly friends with. Again, she will deny all this but I swear it's true. As I previously wrote why is it ok for you to move on and be happy but you won't let me do the same? But yeah today was a tipping point in the fucked up dynamic between the two of us. I never met someone who made me as shitty, toxic person, until I met the ex-wife but sadly she has made me this way. Was I always a bit of a rude sarcastic asshole? Yes, but I didn't have so much anger or hatred towards people until I became good friends with her and her roommate. Today is a perfect example, all day she is bitching on her phone, because it's not like I pay her to take care of me or anything. To her sister about how annoying, obsessed and in love with her, her roommate is, she even went as far as to blame something really sad and tragic in her life on her roommate. I'm not a doctor so I don't know if it was her roommates fault, but you can't say shit like that and then 2 hours later say, oh by the way, I need my roommates birthday off from work. Ok, you can't say how annoying and obsessed she is with you and how you need her out of your life and then turn around and say of course I'm going to spend her birthday with her she's one of my good friends. Earlier in the day she was literally telling me how her psychologist, because if anyone ever needed one, was about to give up on her and recommend her to a mental health specialist and a life coach. The ex-wife is so crazy she didn't even get what this means! It means your bat-shit-crazy that even a psychologist doesn't want to help you. Why? because you complain and complain and complain and complain and complain about all this shit happening in your life and do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to fix or change it. For those of you who don't know that's the textbook definition of insanity. For those of you who didn't take intro to psych in college the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
Part of me knows it's my fault for putting up with this and it probably is time to move on for both of us because we are clearly toxic to each other. But it's just sad because I do feel sorry for her and want to help but I can only take so much and no matter how good of friends we used to be and how well we got along it doesn't change all the crazy shit that's happened over the last two years. Like yeah a part of me doesn't want to hire new people because they can always be worse than the ex-wife, for example bitch face. But I think when she's out of my life it will be best for both of us, although it may be a little sad at first.
Oh yeah I forgot to explain why the cops were called. I think it was because when she asked for her roommates birthday off, I said this is why your shrink doesn't want to see you anymore. You literally have complained all day about your roommate and now you want her birthday off? Because that won't make her more obsessed and in love with you. So, she said well I would cut her out of my life but I have no where else to go....first of all lies because you lived on your own when I first knew you and you always used to brag to the new mom that you had so many friends and probably people you were hooking up with to get you a new job/pay your bills, even if I did fire you. So me being the nice person that I am said can't you get the dude you're fucking to pay your rent or you can live with him. She didn't take too kindly to that, not sure why. I guess the truth hurts. And some bullshit about he doesn't help her pay for anything and my question to that was well you must think I'm retarded if I actually believe that. She has literally been raised between her mom and the state system to just use whom ever however she needs to to get by....fuck she's done it to me even though she'll never admit it. I don't care, just own up to it. Stop pretending to be something you're not. The real reason she doesn't want to move is because her roommate is so far up her ass that she doesn't even make her pay rent on the apartment they are living in. Oh and the ex-wife is allegedly 3 months behind on her car payments. I know I'm not one to talk because I have bill collectors calling me around the clock looking for money but what the fuck are you doing with your money? You're not paying rent, you're always about to get your phone shut off because you owe version so much, and you're behind on your car payment? How is this all possible? Oh and lets not forget the fact that every time I offer you an extra shift you turn it down because you are a lazy piece of shit. I hate you I hate you I fucking hate you. And writing all this made me feel a lot better.


In happier news here's a few shows I have coming up! They are not for a while so no excuses why you can't come especially the ones on the weekend, plus it's summer time so lots of you are off work or on summer vacation.

Thursday July 13th @10 pm I'm doing Pat Oates show at Comix at Mohegan Sun. I need to bring at least 5 people and tickets are $11.73 if you purchase them online here. Or $10 at the door the night of the show. For those of you who can't make it, my performance will be on his podcast later that week because him and some of his comedian friends will be critiquing/commenting on my performance that night.

Saturday August 19th @ 5:30 pm at Broadway Comedy Club in NYC. Tickets are $15.76 in advance and can be purchased here plus a two drink minimum inside or $20 at the door plus a two drink minimum inside if any seats are left. It's a Saturday night and you get to go to NYC so no excuses for not coming out to see me especially those of you who haven't seen me perform live yet. 

Sunday August 27th @4:30 pm I'm doing Pat Oates show again at Comix at Mohegan Sun. I need to bring at least 5 people and tickets are $11.73 if you purchase them online here. Or $10 at the door the afternoon of the show. For those of you who can't make it, my performance will be on his podcast later that week because him and some of his comedian friends will be critiquing/commenting on my performance that night.   

For those of you who come up with more excuses and people who voted for Trump to be president I'm sure I will be getting/adding more shows even if they are open mics so keep an eye on my blog for updated show schedules. Until then I am going to be researching whatever happened to the old man in the 3 Doors down "kryptonite" music video who spent the majority of it running around in his underwear as most old men in 90's music videos did. Ok I couldn't find the actual video of the old man running around in his underwear so here's some stupid performance they did for AOL because that was still a thing in 2008. 
 

Oh and I threw in the recording of my performance last night at the Hartford FunnyBone open mic. So please give it a listen, it's only like 4 mins long.

Did you miss me? I missed me!

Okay I haven't written in a while, and for the 5 of you who read this on a regular basis, I deeply apologize for not being a rude semi-racist asshole and talking mad shit about all my workers lately. Also, just want to say hi to my mom and Kevin who I am pretty sure are the only ones who torture themselves to read every word of every post I write.

Truthfully my life has been kind of boring lately. I mean all the drama queens are gone, like ghetto trash bitch and the new mom, and bitch face hasn't tried to get me arrested for a while or sent me anonymous hate filled texts message rants while shes high in a while. I mean there was the whole find out the new mom's husband is really in jail when she was pretending he was serving in the army story but I just don't feel like putting her on blast. Shocking I know. And I am just tired of the drama and bullshit, plus I think she's seriously mentally ill. I didn't even mean that in an asshole way. Just like you need a pychotherapist dear god, stop being a pathological liar, type of way. As I previously mentioned, the scary part is she wants to work with former military who suffer from PTSD. Well first of all, I think you have PTSD or some mental disorder from all the lies and bullshit you told me for 8 months. Second of all I might need some of that treatment after dealing with you and finding out basically everything you told me was a lie.

  Its hard to tell because the sound and video quality are crap but the girl with the glasses yells at the other girl YOU LIE YOU LIE YOU LIE! at the very end and the drama queen in me wishes I could see the new mom one more time just to reenact this.

Okay so I will talk shit about her for a brief second. Not post her and her husband's mugshot like in one of my previous posts, but still talk shit. My favorite was, and this was after I fired her, I accidentally sent her time sheet and all my other workers that week time sheets in late. Of course this was a combination of WWIII and the zombie apocalypse coming to her. I get it, they don't make a lot of money and some of them live paycheck to paycheck but fucking Christ, if you are going to lie make up a good story.  She hysterically calls my mom that Friday, which was supposed to be pay day, crying and screaming that she got her truck repossessed because she didn't get paid that day. First of all where do I begin with this line of bullshit? As somebody who owes several creditors money I know for a fact that they call you ohhh about 800 times trying to work out some type of payment/deal to keep the truck in your possession. See, as long as you are making some type of payment on the truck the car company is still making money because they mark shit up so much. Repossession is their last option because not only are they not getting anymore money from you but they have to pay someone to come repossess your car/truck. Second of all, she just moved supposedly, who knows if that is even true. But if she did the car/repossession company would not know her new address and where to find the truck in order to repossess it. Third, you're telling me that because you didn't get paid between $500-600, if it was even that much, as soon as your bank opened that Friday, that they came and immediately repossessed your truck? Well if that is the case, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell ya. Also, somebody that lies about their mom trying to kill themselves, their daughter having seizures and being in the hospital, and their husband still being in the military when he really got kicked out and sent to jail, yeah there's a really hot place below the earth where you are going. I thought I was a terrible person destined for hell, well I never lied to get a guy to western union me $1000 while I'm married because I'm supposed to meet him on some vacation or convince a disabled guy to fill a Xanax prescription for me and gave him $50 for it. Then you wonder why I asked if you were on drugs half the time you were here, that and you talked like you were a sedated robot. Remind me why I kept this bitch around for 8 months again? Especially when she was secretly friends with/helping bitch face get a new job this whole time? Did I mention bitch face almost got her and I arrested? Of course the new mom made it sound to everyone like I threw her under the bus in that scenario and almost got her arrested? First of all, thanks for making me look like an asshole to everyone that worked for me and make them not want to work because they think they are going to have the same thing happen to them. Second, I'm smart enough to know my rights and basically told the two cops to fuck off and get out of my house unless they have a warrant to search me or arrest me. She was the dumb one that agrees to talk to them when they asked her on their way out the door. Bitch if you just said no they would have had to leave. And she tried to tell me they needed to teach civics in school. Where do you think I learned all that shit? So maybe you should take your own advice! Plus, whenever she was mad at me she would try to get bitch face, then ghetto trash bitch and the ex wife to not come in out of spite as well. Little did they know that she shit talked all of them worse than I do and even the ones I don't shit talk on here, because god forbid she not be the center of attention or the favorite. First of all I know I'm going to hell for writing this and ignoring the fact that you are married to a criminal who would kill me....you think I would pick you over any of the other people who work for me in the recent past or presently? It sucks I actually did like you as a person and working for me until I found out what a lying manipulative narcissistic asshole you were. Hippy love child thinks you have borderline personality disorder and sadly she might be right. Supposedly you're a pysch major, diagnose yourself.
 

Alright, alright I couldn't resist, hers the lovely photo, and how about one of her husband? What a cute couple, matching mug shots......adorable!:D Their daughter must be so proud! By the way if you hear about an angry disgruntled former military member killing a crippled guy in Cheshire, it was probably her husband killing me. At least there is written proof.

I haven't performed in 3 weeks due to not being able to get enough people to show up to my two prior shows at Comix at Mohegan Sun and a flat tire the second time. So tomorrow I am trying to do two shows in one night, the first one is at the Hartford Funny Bone which is really in the Buckland Hills Mall in Manchester. Is that supposed to be a joke or something? It starts at 7:30 and doors open at 6 and you can get FREE tickets at the window tomorrow night by using the promo code "clash" and saying you are there to see Bob Al Held. I mean come on, as Peter Griffin once sang, "I have $20,000 worth of credit card debit...when they call I tell them, I can't pay it off yet!" That and two bank accounts that are currently closed until I can give them the money I owe because they are both so overdrawn. I can win $100 tomorrow if I win the contest at the Funny Bone but I doubt that will happen because there are like 10 of us performing and I've been doing this for less than a year and all my friends are broke ass gangsters, oh wait I don't have any friends so hardly anybody will show up/vote for me to win tomorrow. If I get out of there fast enough, which being disabled and extremely unlucky, I probably won't but I'm also trying to perform at Mohegan Sun tomorrow night at 10 pm, assuming I can get 4 people to show up, and pay $10 + fees to see me. I already have two so maybe my some miracle I can get two more people to show up there tomorrow night, highly unlikely. Not sure the cripple van can survive so much craziness but we shall see.










 

 


After that, I'm not sure when my next show will be, I've been kinda slacking on the comedy end. I mean I'm probably performing on Tuesday the 20th at the Hartford Funny Bone open mic but that's free to get in and anybody can do it. And I might perform at a bar in Hartford on Wednesday the 21st, I believe the show starts at 9:30 and I don't remember the name of the bar but I'll post it. Also some guy randomly contacted me on Facebook so I might perform at Broadway Comedy Club in NYC on Saturday July 15th if I can verify it's validity, but after being scammed by Vinny Beedle, I'm skeptical. The good news is today I finally made money doing a bit on journalism work for the first time in ehh probably 2-3 years. It's only what I went to college for, for basically 9 years. So good thing I'm finally putting all that money to good use by getting $60 to take random footage of the town green in Waterbury. I'm kinda mad that nobody bought my murder footage video at some apartment in the Meriden ghetto...okay it wasn't murder footage, I just shot the outside of the building where the dead body was supposedly found, I'm not that fucked up!...or Hippy love child's great camera work at the Aetna building in Hartford since they are about to abandon this state like I wish I could. And most defensible of all, my personal uploaded footage of Miley licking my head, who wouldn't wanna buy that for a crap ton of money?! Thanks Trump! Also assholes that for some reason read this, don't forget I'm still selling my shirts at my shows as in Dump Trump, Handicap lives Matter, I want to Spoon Spooner, and What the Bob Al Held! For the low low price of $20. Here are some pictures of them to remind you of what they look like. Just remember, trust in Jesus, but only black Jewish Jesus otherwise you can't trust that guy. I watched this fucked up documentary on Netflix about a burlesque club in Oregon where this one female dancer/porn star does really inappropriate things with a Jesus puppet, to the soundtrack of Jesus Christ superstar. Again, for all those people that tell me I'm a horrible ungrateful asshole, read about some of the people I wrote about tonight and then ask yourself is Bob Al Held really that bad?

I'm a Whore

I'm being a shameless, self promoter because I'm desperate for money. I'm making original pieces of artwork with my wheelchair and my mouth to prove that people with disabilities can do anything. Click the link here to buy one for the low low price of $5 or just look up Bob Al Held or wheelchair art on Fiverr.com. Also, here's a creepy and not so creepy video of me explaining it more. Roll that beautiful bean footage...

Also, can someone tell Vinny Beedle to call the producers on People's Court back so we could get on the show and each make $250. I would drop the case because I'm over it at this point. Just like the WWE Universe is over James Ellsworth, but the case has to be active so we could get on the show. I hope i could makes pussy look that good. Seriously, is this supposed to be hot or sexy? He looks like Mr. Rogers son!