Paleo Diet-This is a boring and not funny entry

I had to write this for a writing sample for a job I applied to..hopefully I get it..well this might not be funny or interesting to read to some people but I worked hard on it so I want you guys to read it anyways..

The key to the Paleo Diet is to basically eat like a caveman. In simple terms it means individuals on this diet should only eat items that can be hunted or found.

For example some things you can eat on the Paleo Diet are meats, fish, nuts, leafy vegetables, and seeds. If someone seriously wants to start the Paleo Diet then they cannot eat pasta, cereal or candy. However, it is a great way to learn how to make dishes such as chicken stir fry and paleo spaghetti.

The most difficult part of any diet is keeping track of calories and portion size. Most people who are dieting hate doing this. A benefit to the Paleo Diet is individuals on it will quickly learn that not all calories are created equal. There is a major difference between 400 calories of potato chips versus 400 calories of high quality meats and vegetables.  

If individuals on the Paleo Diet can learn to eat and try new foods, while completely removing other certain types of foods, then they can stop being concerned about counting calories forever. There are not many diets that do not make individuals on it count calories, while also allowing them to eat until they are no longer hungry, but the Paleo Diet does. It also helps individuals lose weight, build muscle, and get into shape.

When properly followed the Paleo Diet can be extremely effective, the reason being that the diet is based on how individuals ate before foods full of fats, sugars, and preservatives came along. Even though as a society, individuals have not been hunter-gatherers for a long time, our genetics have not changed much since then.

The average human being back then was tall, muscular, agile, athletic, and incredibly versatile. Now the average human being is, overweight, out of shape, stressed out, unhappy, sleep deprived and dying from a myriad of preventable diseases.

This happened because as people settled down and started forming societies, they became less active. As we became less active, and changed our eating habits it began to cause more health problems. In other words, over the last few hundred years our diet changed, but our genetics did not.

The United States Government still recommends 6-11 servings of grains per day. Yet, people keep getting heavier and heavier as a society. Two out of three people are overweight, and one out of three is considered obese. By being on the Paleo Diet it helps individuals focus on what they are biologically designed to eat. This allows us to reach our genetic potential and living a healthier lifestyle right away.

Now back to some funny shit. The Ex wife and I are actually getting along this week, maybe she felt threatened by the new wife, maybe she just really wants this awesome bobble head placed back in my bedroom.

Either way I'll keep my wheels crossed that it lasts.I'm actually trying to work my way out of the massive amount of debt that I have created. I have signed up for several secret shopper trips, sure they only pay 10-20$ a trip but every dollar counts, did I mention I'm constantly selling shirts on my website cripplecreation.com for the low low price of only 20$!! I even applied to be a substitute teacher in Meriden Public School and I got one of my new workers to agree to make the cripple van into an uber/lyft even though it falls apart every 10 minutes, but I'll take what I can get..I'm still pissed at Penelope (that's what i call the piece of crap cripple van) for getting a flat tire and costing me a comedy gig in NYC..it wasn't important to my career goals or anything. Here's some shows i have coming up, hopefully I'll get more soon and if I ever get paid to do one I'll really be excited!

12-14: Free show at 6 p.m at Chill Zone in New Haven for a friend of mine and one of my dads former students. I have to keep it clean which might be difficult for me but I'll try.

12-15, 12-29, 1-19: Comix at Mohegan Sun...all dates are Thursdays at 10 p.m with tickets starting at 10$ and I know most of my family is off from work on the 29th so you better come watch me perform if you haven't you cheap bastards!Tickets can be purchased online just make sure you check Bob Al Held at the checkout as the comedian you are going to see.

Finally I was devastated to watch SmackDown today because that soccer mom haircut wearing asshole AJ Styles beat the crap out of my boy James Ellsworth! He hit him in the back with a steel chair, and even did the Styles-Clash off the steel stairs onto the hard floor...needless to say it was the most horrific thing I've ever seen. He had to be put into a neck brace and get stretchered into an ambulance and my other favorite boy Dean Ambrose even went with him in the ambulance to the hospital that's how bad it was! It's because the chin has 3 wins over AJ and he recently won a title shot against him so I think he was afraid to go 0-4 against Ellsworth so he took him out of play..you heartless bastard..that was my 9-11! I have been in bed all day crying and wearing black trying to forgot that horrific sight or James being loaded into that ambulance! It's ok though, I know he will be back (besides the fact that wrestling is fake) plus, any man with two hands has a fighting chance... I truly believe it! Here's a picture of James after that disaster, it hurt just to post it.Also, not quite sure why he looks like a turtle without a shell.

At least Dean Ambrose beat the crap out of Aj Styles to get revenge for our boy James Ellsworth! If he's not back I'll start a riot.