I'm also in a lovely mood today because my jackass of a neighbor decided to start doing construction on his house at 8am on a Sunday morning. First of all, who the fuck does construction starting on a Sunday? Second of all, why were you up so fucking early? Luckily, for now I think it is only a new walkway and steps leading up to his front door. But when you have your windows open and about 100 feet away somebodys sledgehammering, jackhammering, and I don't even know what the fuck else. It's mad annoying! This is the same neighbor that has a dog and despite the weather decides to leave it outside half the time when him and his wife are not home. Therefore, I get to hear their fucking dog bark because he wants to go in and it goes on throughout the whole day. Maybe I'll call animal control just to get them back because I'm pretty sure a dog should not be left outside during the day when it is 90 degrees in July. Oh, and before they got an electric fence for it, they used to just let the dog wander around the neighborhood. Clearly, you do not want this dog, especially if you had a baby so why do you still have it? Unfortunately, Miley or Flappy never fought with him but my sister's dog Teddy did once. The wife practically had to pull Teddy off the neighbors dog because he just sat there and watched and gave no fucks! I'm thinking about hanging up a sign in my bedroom windows that face his house, one will say fuck and the other will say you!
Plus my mom decided to work out on the treadmill at 8:30 in the morning. It wouldn't be so bad but she turns the volume up full blast on the TV so she can hear it over the treadmill. The door to the basement is also left wide open so after going to bed at 2am because I went to the Mets game last night, I got woken up first at 8am to crashing and banging noises by my neighbor and then a half hour later rewoken up by some crappy Hallmark channel movie! Seriously why are all you crackers up at the ass crack of dawn on a Sunday. Luckily I can sleep through anything, yup I've slept through hurricanes and massive thunderstorms, so after I fell back asleep somehow I slept til 1 haha.
Surprisingly nothing weird happened at the Mets game last night. I didn't get two flat tires driving on the way home. I didn't get a toll booth operator trying to commit suicide by van, followed by a guy from California trying to use an EZ pass that probably expired in 1998. I didn't almost run over a drunk guy trying to impress girls by doing the worm. And I did not upset a random women that works in the Amtrak lounge by moving the chair and not putting it back in the right spot... yes that really happened. However, I did go to a Bees game in New Britain on Friday night and got the crap scared out of me! Why? Well, it might have to do with the fact that THIS was sitting in front of me!
Yup, it was a three year old Ginger kid... sure he looks cute but he just does that to fool you. Ok, so I'm an asshole and yelled during the game "don't eat my soul"... as if I still have one. But I'm pretty sure his dad didn't hear me or know what I was talking about anyways. Besides, his dad and the other dad, he was there with were horrible fathers! The other dad decided to announce that his two kids had to take a number one and two during the middle of the game. Uhhh, dude nobody wanted to know that. Then he kept telling his kid his own three year old child, not a ginger thank god, that every time a flyball was hit to yell from the windows ..."to the wall". Sir, I'm not sure if you're familiar with the rest of that song, but after that sentence it goes "til the sweat drips down my balls skeet skeet skeet". For those of you don't know I'm not explaining it, but I'll put it this way, that is a song that they are always playing at the strip club! Special shout-out to that lady in the black tank top. She sounded like she smokes a carton a day and was plowing through beers like Flappy plows through cat food. Seriously, she was so fucked up that when she talked it sounded like Chewbacca and Stephen Hawking had a child and it talked like both of them. I couldn't tell you what she was saying but it sounded like the time I ran Flappy's tail over if Flappy was a chainsmoker! It was also really hot to hear here cough up a lung into her beer. Seriously even the lady sitting next to her looked at her to say ma'am are you alright it appears that you are dying. I bet that beer was extra tasty with the lung butter flavored mucus in it. You're welcome for that visual image!
By the way here's a great photo of me. Don't I look fedorable??
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