Crazy Weekend

Yeah I had a weird weekend. Friday was a huge cluster fuck so I’ll write about that in a minute. First let me start with yesterday aka Saturday. Despite it being shitty outside, I went to my first Mets game of the season. I have a 20 game ticket plan so I can’t avoid the bad weather forever. Of course they lost, of course it rained on my worker and I the whole time, of course it was windy and cold where we were sitting, but that wasn’t even the worst part. Of course since I sit in the cheap seats, I get every drunken asshole sitting next to me. Of course, for this game he was sitting right next to me. Granted I wasn’t sitting in my normal seats, because when I got there two people were already in them, and the rest of the section was empty at the time. So I just sat further down the row. Then that drunken asshole showed up after that, and do you think there was ever anybody that worked there around when I needed them? Of course not! All his friends and him were screaming things that they only thought were funny the whole game, but luckily I heard him say that he hadn’t been to a Mets game in a while, so hopefully I’ll never see him again. I wanted to take a video of how annoying he was but my worker was being a bitch and wouldn’t let me. Even after him and some random guy shit talked me while she was in the bathroom. First of all, I love it when people assume I’m retarded and I don’t know what they’re saying about me, despite me sitting right there. Um yeah asshole I can hear you. And you will be getting blasted in my blog and comedy routines. The one dude basically congratulated the other one for having the balls to sit in the handicap seats despite not being handicapped, and said at least you’re aware enough to enjoy using them. Since it was raining I had a blanket over my controller and other electronics to keep them from shorting out in the rain, yes I will admit it looks bad draped over the screen that serves as the power source for my chair, but the one guy told the drunk guy it looks like I had an erection for whoever was at bat at the time. Yeah I’m starting to see why the terrorists always attack in New York! Too soon? On the way out I was going to tell him I enjoyed fucking his mom with that huge erection last night, but literally that was the only time I saw a security guard out there all day, plus my worker was having a stroke when I told her I was going to say that. This was drunk asshole when he got home from the game last night:

 On the way into the stadium, I could hear that the game was about to start so I was rushing my worker to get in there fast, plus I wanted my matt Harvey garden gnome, which I didn’t get, and I’m still crying about, and my worker totally ate shit on the way in. I guess she was running over really wet bricks, and totally took a header, with probably about a hundred people in line watching it. Being the nice person that I am, instead of asking her if she was okay, instead I yelled, ‘’WHAT THE FUCKARE YOU DOING” which I feel bad about now I guess, but when she was falling she grabbed my arm I drive with, luckily for both of us my hand didn’t get stuck on the controller and run her and a bunch of strangers over. 

This is what I imagined her falling looked like:

Then on the way home, for whatever brilliant reason, the state of New York decided to do construction the same weekend the Mets are playing at home on the Whitestone Bridge, and of course I have to take that bridge to get home. I left the game early, yeah I know I’m a fake fan, but they lost anyway, I mean we literally sat in traffic from the stadium until the exit for the bridge which is only a few miles away for two hours. I live an hour and a half to two hours from Citi Field, and it took four hours for us to get home. Okay, 20 minutes of that time was spent at McDonalds because my fat ass was hungry, and I was mourning that the Mets lost!

Butt fuck you Whitestone Bridge!

 

That was nothing though; my Friday night was the Titanic to my Saturday Hindenburg! Why? Because I didn’t learn from the mistake I made hiring bitch face, when I said I wasn’t going to hire any more ghetto trash bitches! Bitch face and her used to be friends but way before they ever worked for me, but still I should have known better! So yeah anyways ghetto trash bitch (GTB) is now gone. I should have done it a long time ago because she was way too ghetto, and always causing drama with my other workers. I already put up with the ex wife’s bullshit, I’m not putting up with another. Long story short, she was supposed to be here at 5pm on Friday, but I was worried she wasn’t going to show because I told her at the last minute not to come in for the Thursday overnight shift, and then when the girl who usually picks up overnights didn’t show up, she suddenly wasn’t available to come in even though she had been an hour before, because she always did things out of spite. I shouldn’t have been surprised I mean this was the same girl that didn’t show up, when she promised she’d be here the whole time during a snow storm, but instead my mom had to take care of me for 31 hours while clearing the driveway and sidewalk in front of my house. Then three days later she told me at 2pm she was not only not coming in for 5pm, but she quit, only to come back two weeks later, after she admitted she had only quit to, “teach me a lesson.” Well here’s a lesson now GTB, you’re fired! Good luck getting someone else to put up with your crazy bullshit. Of course she stressed me out when she wasn’t returning my texts Friday afternoon to confirm she was still coming Friday night, I then texted all of my workers in a group and individual texts, saying I was worried she wasn’t going to show up because I haven’t heard from her. I was going to be home alone at least from 3:30 -5pm so if they didn’t hear from me by 6pm, to please come check on me because my mom was gone for the night. She then finally responded that she will be there at 5… sure if by 5 she really meant 6 because that’s when she really showed up and did she text my mom, my other workers, or me to tell me that? Of course not! So yeah I was pissed because I thought she was telling everyone she was going to show up, and then not really show up, so I would be home alone from 3:30pm to midnight, and no one would know I was alone because they all thought she was coming at 5. She finally shows up at 6 half ass apologizes for being an hour late, GTB you live in Meriden. Even with traffic it does not take an hour to get to Cheshire, also despite being an hour late you still managed to stop at Dunkin Donuts when you carry that cup of coffee from there into my house! And she gets offended when I tell her that I’m going to have someone else take the overnight because I was too pissed off at her to spend the next 18 hours with her. She started screaming, “ Why did you give away all of my hours?’’ umm, Thursday overnights aren’t hers the normal girl was on vacation so I could assign them to whoever I want, and yeah I don’t want you around Friday overnights when you are going to start drama with me and all of my workers, when Friday night is a shift that they all signed up for anyways. This is not what GTB looks like, but its pretty close!

Did I mention for some reason, her 45 year old ghetto boyfriend, and she’s 27 was hanging out in my house with her, for some reason? Not sure if they were trying to intimidate me but I’m not scared of anyone. The best part is she claimed he was her ride. First of all, he owns a car dealership supposedly why did you only have one car? Second, lots of people get rides to and from my house for work, but their rides don’t stay at my house with them! Didi mention when I did my show last week in Mass. He came with us, when were at the show he got incredibly drunk on at least 10 beers, which GTB admitted to at the time and later tried to deny, so he was still too drunk to drive home and awkwardly spent the night at my house. Yeah the guest bedroom has been fumigated since that night. Do you think she asked if he could spend the night at my house? Hell no. She knew I would have said no! she still had the nerve to get mad when I told her don’t let my mom see some random old guy walking around our house when she gets up in the morning. Plus GTB bf oringinally offerd to buy me a drink and my friend, but then blew all his money on booze so later on when him and GTB wanted food of their own, they made my friend pay for it, and he is too nice to say no! She then claimed that he had 5,000 in his pocket to pay for it. If that’s true, then why are you running around in one piece of shit car between the two of you, ripping off one of the other girls of 50 dollars you were supposed to pay her of watching your kids? I ended up paying her 50 dollars out of my own pocket, and the only reason you gave it back to me was because I called you out on it in front of everyone because this happened a month ago. Oh and why did you ask the girl who trained you one day after meeting you to borrow 300 dollars? Yeah your boyfriend has 5,000 in his pocket so that’s why you asked a stranger to borrow 300 dollars. And, even if he did have 5 grand in his pocket, it’s not from selling cars, it’s from selling something else. Gee, I wonder what you sell a lot of that is a cash only business!?! When you live in a ghetto apartment in Meriden, and have to carry around that much cash because you cant get a bank account for sketchy reasons or you don’t want to draw attention to your bank account for sketchy reasons! The best part is last night she asks one of my workers that she is always shit talking to fill out her last couple of timesheets so she doesn’t have to come here again. Yeah that got no response and despite what you and bitch face say I will still pay you for the hours that you worked… but hey at least now you guys could be friends and shit talk me and make up more lies. Sadly, people who are raised poorly either becomes the people who raised them or do everything they can not to be them. GTB, you are exactly the trash who raised you, and sadly I feel sorry for your two daughters because considering all you threaten to do is beat their asses, there is pretty much no chance of them not becoming trash like you! Maybe I should tell DCF about this, and the lovely photos you sent me which are pictured below! Have a nice life! Your pal, in Christ, Robert A. Held!!!