5. Chris "Birdman" Andersen- Okay, so I just watched the 20/20 on this and it's fucked up. Basically this social media hoe, whose only famous for being a social media hoe, thought she was talking to/ in a relationship with NBA player and then Denver Nuggett, Chris "Birdman" Andersen. He was sending her selfies, pics of his dog and house, and eventually bought her a plane ticket to meet him in Denver. I was waiting for the twist to be that when she showed up in Denver it wasn't him, but it actually was him that picked her up at the airport. After they spent the weekend together, probably playing board games and discussing politics, just kidding they were fucking each others brains out. She flew home and started being a hoe with a different NBA player, Blake Griffin. Did I mention this hoe was only 17 at the time? Even though she was telling everyone she was 21. How she got on an airplane with a fake birthday I don't want to know. Anyway, Andersen's best friend, who also turned out to be fake, started going crazy that she was hanging out with Blake Griffin now, and Andersen got an email from the hoe's mom supposedly saying since you banged my underage daughter, and have naked photos of her, I'm going to ruin your name unless you pay me. The fucked up part is Andersen had his lawyer send her $3,000 through Paypal. The fucked up part is Andersen and the hoe, the best friend of Andersen, and the hoe's mom were really a 33 year old shut in with five teeth who lived in a trailor on an Indian Reservation five hours outside of Winnipeg Canada. Police don't know how she got the hoe and Andersen's number, but she would basically pose as the other one and all texts would go through her before she sent them to the person they really thought they were talking too. Needless to say she went to jail for extortion and distributing child pornography. In Canada, she got one year in jail and 3 years probation and can't use the internet without permission. Even though she looks like she's 13, she's actually older than I am. And found some guy that looks like he would fuck bitchface to marry her. No bitchface that's not a compliment, total hoodrat trash! She seemed real remorseful about it when the reporter asked her if she felt bad for making him get cut by Denver, and lose out on almost two years of his career, she said " so did he get to come back to the NBA and still win the title?" And the reporter said yes with the Miami Heat. Her response was "then cry me a river". Yeah, maybe she's the one related to bitchface, lets think about this. They are both shut ins who rarely leave the house, don't have jobs because they have to take care of their crazy ass mothers and would lose out on government benefits, have horrible teeth, and look like 12 year old boys. Yep, sounds like they're related. Also, special shout out to the crazy bitch that catfished everyones mom for being so fat she had to be taken in on an ambulance stretcher when her daughter was on trial. I'm not making this up look it up.
4. Manti Te'o- Okay, this was awhile ago and he's been a shitty NFL player, yet another overrated Notre Dame player, so if you haven't heard of him that's what he's famous for. Apparently, even though I think he did it for publicity and attention, he was dating this girl while he was at Notre Dame. Right before his senior year, I forget now if she died in a supposed car accident or from from cancer, but either way, he thought she died. Then, him and Notre Dame Football dedicated their season to her and said they were inspired to play well because of her. Well, either right before or right after the season ended, it turns out this girl wasn't even real and didnt die of anything. Dude, you never met her or saw her in person, but you thought you guys were in a serious relationship? Also, you were a famous football player at Notre Dame, why are you settling for an online relationship with a girl? Best part of all, turns out the girl he was talking to was actually a guy! I have three theories about this, not that I care but he's either secretly gay and doesn't want to admit it, or he knew it was fake, but was already in too deep and didn't want to admit it, or he's just really fucking dumb! Being a college football player, it could easily be any of those.
3. Nev Schulman- Yeah, I know I'm lame for doing this one because everyone already knows about it, but before Catfish was a TV show on MTV, it was a movie documentary where Nev was the victim of the catfish. Watch it, it's actually funny/ really interesting, and a little sad to be honest. Before he was famous for the MTV show he was a photographer/ artist, who somehow had a girl that became obsessed with some of his published work and kept sending him fan mail. She then added him on Facebook and acted like she was this really hot girl in her 20's. Nev thought after awhile they were in a relationship, even though they never met in person. Well, turns out when he finally tracked her down in person, she was some fat middle aged woman from the middle of nowhere who was married with three children. I know I'm being a dick but Nev, you look like a hairy caveman, did you really think this hot chick was talking to you. I mean, I get why the fat old lady did it.she lived in the middle of nowhere on a farm with her husband whose IQ had to be around 70 and raise a young daughter and two disabled sons. This was probably the highlight of her life. That's why it was a little sad despite being funny and interesting.
2. Thomas Gibson- I don't know who this guy is but I'm told he's an actor from Dharma & Greg and Criminal Minds, two TV shows I've never watched. Okay I did watch Criminal Minds after the Superbowl one year when it was a special two part episode, but it was only because Cheshire's own James Van Der Beek was in it. He played a serial killer with multiple personality disorder, it's as good as it sounds. Nothing says dead like Dawson playing a crazy serial killer. Anyway, back to Gibson. Here's what happened when he was catfished.... Gibson couldn’t resist cheating on his wife with a sexy girl he met online. As it turns out, the relationship was just as fake as the images...which she stole from a porn website. While the catfisher was never revealed, Gibson caught on. According to the catfisher, she was served with notice from his lawyers never to contact him again after he discovered that he was duped. She then released a video of him in a hottub as blackmail. Sounds like a classy dude.
1. Jeremy Allen White aka Lip Gallagher from Shameless aka me!- I told you number one had a twist. Okay, so I stopped doing this a year ago, and wrote a post about it then, but I had to delete it because I was getting a lot of shit from crazy internet trolls and I didn't wanna be the next star of the Investigation Discovery show The Internet Got Me Murdered. Okay thats not a show yet but it will be. I did this for a year, but only actively for the last six months. The reason I picked him is because the real guy doesn't actually have any social media accounts, so I knew when people looked him up, they would come across my twitter. I got over 3,000 followers and the scary part was how easily people believed they were really talking to Jeremy. People legitimately gave me their phone numbers, addresses, sent me fan mail, offered me acting roles, and wanted to buy merchandise, or know where they could meet me. Luckily I'm not as creepy or psycho as other people on this list. But this was one fucked up social experiment that I took too far. But jeez was it interesting. Seeing how easily regular people can get fooled, I understand why famous people have been catfished too. But here's a little common sense advice. If you think you're talking to someone famous on social media, it is NOT them unless they have the blue verified check by their name. Or as I learned a long time ago, if you think it's too good to be true it is. Now that my internet trolls will come back, I'll go roll under a rock that I came out from.
Upcoming shows if you want to throw rotten food at me
Tuesday 4/18 @ Dante's Bar and Restaurant in Stratford CT- free to get in jsut purchase food and drink and please come support me because if I come in first or second I win money that I desperately need and get to perform in the finals in May.
Monday 4/24 Choice New Haven @ Trinity Bar- free to get in but come support me and like my instgram photo on their page because again if i come in first or second i win money i desperately need and have a chance to win $500 during the final show on 5/1.
5/2 Dangerfield Comedy Club in NYC @8:30pm- tix are $15 bucks and must be purchased at the door. I need to bring three people and this is only my second time performing in NYC so I would appreciate the support.
5/4& 5/11- Comix Mohegan Sun @ 10 pm. Tix start at $10 and can be purchased on the Comix Mohegan Sun website, I need to bring 4-5 people so please buy your tickets now.
Those are all the shows I can think of for now hopefully I'll add more soon.
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