It was the name of a dairy farm that some of my family members owned back in the day! You can't see it now though, I'm pretty sure it's where the Meriden Mall is or Target.
So I decided to make another list. It won't be as funny or good as my last list, but it was still entertaining for me to come up with. A lot of this info is just coming from IMDB and Wikipedia, but here is a list of 10 TV Shows you probably never knew existed, but I did!
1. Claude's Crib- I don't remember what this was about, all I remember that it was an awful and possibly boarder line racist show that aired on USA. I only remember the shitty commercials from when I used to watch Monday Night RAW as a kid. For years I would joke about it with my family, and I even made up a fake theme song for it. Because of this my parents and sister never actually believed me that it was a show until we discovered the internet movie data base in the late 90's. I finally convinced my dad to look it up, and he was shocked to discover that yes it really was a show on USA for 9 whole episodes in 1997. I realized the show below this is definitely the worst show that I know existed that most people don't, however I made this number one because of the personal story I have to go with it. Hell maybe I'll even find an episode on YouTube, but I'm afraid it will ruin my childhood memories. Here's another shitty summary of this dumpster fire of a show; Claude always had big plans. Being a landlord was NOT one of them.
2. Heil, Honey I'm Home!- This was a British Show that aired only one episode in 1990 due to outrage even though seven were supposedly made. It was so bad that the channel the aired it no longer exists. I mean I've heard of shit shows, but never one that was so bad it ruined an entire network! Also, what asshole thought of this shows concept, and what asshole thought it was okay to air this. Basically, the concept is Hitler survived WWII and now is married to Ava Braun, and lives in the an apartment complex, when some Jewish neighbors named the Goldstein's move into the apartment next to them. Yes i swaer this was a show, and yes I swear it was a comedy. I hope to God anyone who produced, acted in or allowed this exploding penis of a show to air. Never work in the entertainment industry again. If they do, shame on whoever hires them. Obviously, due to outrage the other six episodes never aired, and nobody supposedly knows what happened to the tapes that they were on. If someone ever finds them though, I have a feeling they will make a ton of money off of it. Don't lie, just like me you are going to look this up to see how truly awful it was!
3. Emeril- Again, who thought giving this celebrity chef a half hour sitcom was a good idea? Well apparently NBC thought it was in 2000-2001. Who saw this guy yell BAM and thought yeah I can make a half hour comedy show out of that. First of all this guy was famous for being a chef, and I use the word famous lightly. So I'm assuming his acting was horrible, but I don't think anybody would know because I highly doubt anyone would watch this hot pile of garbage. This isn't even one of those shows where it was so bad I want to watch it on YouTube! Stick to cooking Emeril, if that's what you even do these days, but here's another shitty summary of the show I stole from IMDB; Viewers are taken behind the scenes of a cooking show starring the animated chef. His dealings with his producer and stage manager provide the yuks.
4. I'm with Busey- Okay so this guy, was once a legit famous actor who was in movies like Rookie of The Yea, Lethal Weapon, and hell he was even nominated for an Oscar for his role playing Buddy Holly in the Buddy Holly story. Then he developed a drug problem and decided to scramble his brain on the Hollywood sidewalks on day while high on Cocaine! He crashed his motorcycle without a helmet on. Ever since then he has been bat shit crazy, and this was a show that aired on Comedy Central in 2002. It basically had a comedian following him around for 12 episodes I'm assuming it only lasted 12 episodes because someone finally told him the 5 people watching it were laughing at him not with him. I mean I know you can't take this guy seriously anymore, but fuck this had to have been awful. Now a day Busey makes a living by appearing in such great movies as Sharknado and Reality TV Shows like Celebrity Rehab, Celebrity Fit Club, and Celebrity Apprentice where washed up singer and a personal favorite of mine Meatloaf, almost beat the shit out of him for still unknown reasons.
5. Cavemen- Know what would be a great idea? To take those hilarious Geico Caveman commercials and turn them into a half hour comedy show said nobody ever! Except for the idiots the were running ABC in 2007. Yes this was really a sitcom, and no I never really watched it, but I am assuming it's as bad as it sounds. I don't believe anybody too famous was in it and if Hollywood is smart none of these actors in this show would work again! But Hollywood is fucking stupid and my guess is somebody who is now really famous was probably on the show, and I was right comedian Nick Kroll was on it, Anyway here is the description I stole it from IMDB because I don't want to write anymore about this hot stinking pile of shit... for those of you who want to know, enjoy: A trio of Neanderthals struggle to live in modern day America... Fuck even the description sucks!!
6. Baywatch Nights- Ever wonder what David Hasselhoff does at night when he's not out being a lifeguard? Yeah me either and nobody watched Baywatch for Mitch, like me they watched for slo-mo's of hot girls running down the beach with bouncing boobs! I was a teenage boy cut me a break! Anyway, Baywatch Nights aired for 2 season, yes 2, and was about the 'Hoff solving crimes with two other former Baywatch stars. When did this asshole sleep? No wonder this asshole had to get drunk and eat hamburgers off the bathroom floor, he never had any time for himself! As if the first season wasn't bad enough itself, the second season took a supernatural turn, with the 'Hoff investigating alien abductions and battling vampires. Ya know, the more I write about it the more I want to see it! Anyway Baywatch Nights aired from 1995 to 1997 and the second season sounds so awesome I may have to watch an episode on YouTube!
7. Joanie Loves Chachi- I fucking loved Happy Days and still make jokes about this awful spinoff in several blog posts. First of all, one of the leads, Scott Baio, most recently seen giving a speech at the republican national convention... Seriously what the fuck was he doing there... has called this show a complete cesspool aka a pool of shit! While I have sadly never seen an episode, the concept of this show is that Joanie and Chachi leave Happy Days to move to Milwaukee to try and start their singing careers. First of all, who told these to idiots they could sing... RIP Erin Moran.. Second of all, if you want to be discovered as a famous singer this is not the place to do it. It's like people who record albums in the Waterbury mall thinking they're going to become famous rappers. Yes this really happens! Anyway, this aired on ABC from 1982-1983, holy shit there was two seasons of this garbage? The funniest part was it got cancelled before Happy Days did so Joanie and Chachi went back to be a part of the Happy Days cast for its last season. I forgot to add the show was popular in Korea because apparently Chachi means "Penis" in Korean.
8. My Mother The Car- This show was from the 50's or 60's I believe and featured Jerry Van Dyke, ya know, the lesser known and talented little brother of multiple television show star Dick Van Dyke. I'm not sure what drugs were popular in this time era, but not only did somebody think of this horrible show, but some network, I believe CBS actually allowed it to be on air... From 1965 to 1966.. What was the concept of this show you ask? Jerry Van Dykes mom died on the show and came back reincarnated as a talking car he had just purchased! Yes it's as weird, horrible, and creepy as it sounds. Most episodes just involved people trying to steal or buy his mom I mean car... And people complain about what's on TV these days! Imagine when this was one of the only 3 choices you had to watch! They are so desperate for new movie ideas these days let's hope they don't turn it into one starring Dane Cook and Roseanne! Oh god Hollywood, if some producer ever reads this, please don't take this serious.
9. The Richard Bey Show- This was just a crappy 90's talk show rip off of the Jerry Springer show. This was when Jerry Springer and all of the other talk shows were huge, highly watched and talked about. Surprisingly, this is one of the few shows that actually made it more than one season, on this list I believe. The only thing i remember about it, because for some stupid reason my sister made me watch it during the summer when she babysat me, is that whenever a guest would get loud and obnoxious they would play a sound effect of some guy yelling, " SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!" Okay, apparently this show was on for 9 years! ... Don't ask me how because it fucking sucked, but hey Jerry Springer has been on for 30+, so who knows! But yeah, it was on from 1987-1996.
10. DreamMaker- Any show that's hosted by Richard Simmons should be amaze- balls and boy was this. It was kind of a talk show/ reality show before reality shows got popular. It ran during the day time during the week days but for the one year it was on I loved coming home from school and laugh about how awful it was. I mean Richard Simmons hosting a talk show/ reality show has Emmy written all over it, am I right? Anyway, the concept was people would go on this show or be in the audience with a goal or dream they wanted to accomplish. Richard would do his best to " help" them achieve it. I cant remember most of the stories, but one of them was a homeless person who needed a car to get to work, so they could eventually find somewhere to live. However instead of being helpful and buying him or her a car, Richard gave them a year supply of bus tokens. Holy shit this is worse than when I read that the producers of Legend of The Hidden Temple would rig the game sometimes in order to save money and not give out prizes! I swear this is all true look it up.. Oh and one time a girl threw up in the temple, Oh and the studio in Orlando where all those shows were filmed for Nick now sits abandoned! That went off track fast but anyways DreamMaker more like Dream-Faker hahahaha this is why people cancel my comedey shows on me isn't it?
