1. Dog The Bounty Hunter- This shouldn't really surprise you, and he's pretty open about it. Here are the details according to Wikipedia which is oh so reliable..."In 1976, Chapman(Dog) was convicted of first degree murder and sentenced to five years in a Texas prison. He had been waiting in a car when his friend accidentally shot and killed alleged pimp and drug dealer Jerry Oliver (aged 69) in a struggle during a deal to buy cannabis."
Check out this hot photo I found of him he looks like he about to give birth any minute.
2.Snoop Dogg- Again, not really surprising and it happened in the 90s, but here are the details complete with mugshot..."While recording Doggystyle in August 1993, Snoop Dogg was arrested in connection with the death of Phillip Woldermariam, a member of a rival gang who was shot and killed by Snoop's bodyguard, McKinley Lee; Snoop was charged with murder along with Lee as he was driving the vehicle from which the shooting had commenced. Snoop and Lee were defended by Johnnie Cochran. Both Snoop and Lee were acquitted; Lee was acquitted on grounds of self-defense, but Snoop Dogg remained entangled in the legal battles around the case for three years."
3. Ray Lewis- Another football player gone bad who basically got other people to take the blame for him or not press charges probably because he paid them off. And now he works for ESPN. That's not fucked up or anything. Here are the details and his hot mugshot..."Following a Super Bowl XXXIV party in Atlanta on January 31, 2000, a fight broke out between Lewis and his companions and another group of people, resulting in the stabbing deaths of Jacinth Baker and Richard Lollar. Lewis and two companions, Reginald Oakley and Joseph Sweeting, were questioned by Atlanta police, and 11 days later the three men were indicted on murder and aggravated-assault charges. The fight occurred about 200 yards from the Cobalt Lounge at 265 East Paces Ferry Road in the Buckhead Village neighborhood about two miles north of downtown Atlanta where Lewis had been celebrating. The white suit Lewis was wearing the night of the killings has never been found. Fulton County District Attorney Paul Howard alleged the blood-stained suit was dumped in a garbage bin outside a fast food restaurant. A knife found at the scene did not have any fingerprints or DNA. Lewis subsequently testified that Oakley and Sweeting had bought knives earlier in Super Bowl week from a Sports Authority where Lewis had been signing autographs. Baker's blood was found inside of Lewis's limousine."
4. Razor Ramon- This was before he was a famous wrestler/drunk/drug addict. Here are the details, along with a sexy mugshot from one of his more recent arrests....."In 1983, Hall was charged with second degree murder after shooting a man with his own gun (after wrestling it away from him) in an altercation outside of a nightclub in Orlando, Florida. According to Hall, this was done in self-defense. The charges were dropped due to lack of evidence. In a 2011 interview for ESPN, Hall admitted killing the man and said he is unable to forget the incident."
5.Matthew Broderick- Yeah, I'm bummed that Ferris Bueller killed people in a car accident, not sure why he never was charged or went to jail but here's a photo I found from the accident...."On August 5, 1987, while driving a rented BMW in Enniskillen, Northern Ireland, Broderick crossed into the wrong lane and collided head-on with a Volvo driven by Anna Gallagher, 28, accompanied by her mother, Margaret Doherty, 63, killing both instantly. Broderick was vacationing with Jennifer Grey, whom he had begun dating in semi-secrecy during the filming of Ferris Bueller's Day Off; the crash publicly revealed their relationship. Broderick suffered a fractured leg, fractured ribs, concussion, and a collapsed lung. Grey received minor injuries, including whiplash. Broderick told authorities he had no recollection of the crash and did not know why he was in the wrong lane. "I don't remember the day. I don't remember even getting up in the morning. I don't remember making my bed. What I first remember is waking up in the hospital, with a very strange feeling going on in my leg," he said at the time. Broderick was charged with causing death by dangerous driving and faced up to five years in prison, but was later convicted of the lesser charge of careless driving and fined $175, which the victims' family called "a travesty of justice"."
6.Tony Stewart- Basically, he ran someone off the track and the guy was stupid for running out in the middle of the track to yell at him, but you'll never convince me that Stewart didn't hit him on purpose. Given all the fights he has gotten into at NASCAR events, but of course he was never charged cause ya know, he's Tony Stewart and the other guy was a nobody, so who cares that he ran him over on purpose and killed him? Watch this video and tell me it wasn't intentional.
7.Jimmy Superfly Snuka- Okay, so he died recently so I guess it doesn't really matter now, but basically without going into all the details, he killed his girlfriend back in the 80s, Vince McMahon may or may not have helped him cover it up, but it was very obvious that he killed her, yet he was never charged with her murder until 2015....."Snuka was indicted and arrested in September 2015 on third-degree murder and involuntary manslaughter charges, in relation to the May 1983 death of his girlfriend, Nancy Argentino, who died from injuries a coroner described as consistent with domestic violence."
8.Brandy- Okay, another car accident where someone unfortunately died that Brandy hit. Not sure she was ever actually charged for this or not, nor do I care enough to look it up, mostly because I hated her when I was a child. She always looked like she smelled a bad fart, and her brother is only famous for fucking Kim Kardashian on tape. Okay, so that's the only reason Kim is famous too! Here's a picture of the accident...."
Driving home on December 30, 2006, Norwood was involved in a fatal automobile collision on Los Angeles' San Diego (405) Freeway. 38-year-old Awatef Aboudihaj was the driver of a Toyota which was struck by Norwood's Range Rover. Aboudihaj died from her injuries at the L.A. Holy Cross Hospital the following day. Norwood was neither arrested nor charged with vehicular manslaughter due to insufficient evidence. Law enforcement officials reported that Norwood was driving her car at 65 miles per hour and did not notice that vehicles ahead of her had slowed considerably. Her vehicle then collided with the rear of Aboudihaj's, causing the Toyota to strike another vehicle before sliding sideways and impacting the center divider. As the Toyota came to a stop, it was hit by yet another vehicle. A source in the California Highway Patrol later reported that Aboudihaj actually struck the car in front of her and then slammed on her brakes before Norwood made contact. The sudden stop caused Norwood to hit Aboudihaj's car. As confirmed, toxicology reports showed that Aboudihaj had "slight traces" of marijuana in her system at the time of the crash."
9.Paul Walker- Okay, so it was a car accident and unfortunately Paul also died, however he was driving like an asshole and slammed into a tree and killed the passenger that was in the car with him. So yeah, good job Paul, he probably would have been charged with murder except for the fact that he died and forgot that the Fast and Furious franchise are movies done with stunt people and should not be attempted in real life. May he rest in pieces, yeah I know, I'm going to hell. If you don't know what happened by now, look it up yourself. Awful car wreck photo below.
10.Ted Kennedy- This asshole also survived a plane crash, but yeah, basically he got drunk one night on Martha's Vineyard, drove home from a party anyways with some girl he was fucking, assuming it wasn't his wife, cause why would the Kennedy's ever not have mistresses? On the way home, he somehow crashed his car off a bridge and into a river, swam out by himself, aka left the drunk drowning girl behind, returned to the party he had just left, where he only told one person what happened, and nobody contacted the authorities. The only reason her car and body were found is because some fisherman came across it the next day. Was he ever charged? No, cause he was a Kennedy. But yeah, I'm starting to see why all these bad things happened to that family.
Now that that list is over with, and we all feel dirty for having wrote or read it, heres some bitching I'm going to do about Impact Wrestling. I've only recently started watching it on a regular weekly basis. I also know that it was started when WWE bought out WCW and ECW, so some wrestlers would have another company to sign with and still be on TV. Shockingly, it's been on the air since 2005... And I know it's always going to be an inferior product, at least in my opinion to WWE, however; I feel like myself, the ex-wife, and my cat Flappy could do a better job of running this company lately. Two thirds of those people are retarded. First of all, they have never been good at creating or keeping original stars with the exception of AJ Styles, who only recently came to WWE, and EC3(depending on who you ask). All the other guys are either in WWE, stolen from WWE, or working in Mexico or Japan, or some other shitty wrestling company I've never heard of... Ring Of Honor not included. I get they love to do what WCW did and bring in WWE has-beens, or guys that never quite lived up to the hype. I'm looking at you Tyrus, aka Brodus Clay, a dancing fat dinosaur..who would've thought that gimmick wouldn't work out? But recently, even though it's still in financial ruins, it was bought by new owners. Yes, I know, Billy Corgan of Smashing Pumpkins fame is suing them for money he's claimed he's owed by them...which is in the millions of dollars, and yes I know that Taz quit as one of their announcers because he said they owed him money... and yes I know several famous wrestlers that used to work for them say they're still owed money, like Sting, the Hardy Boys, and God only knows who else. All that being said, I was excited when Dixie Carter sold the company, because according to the internet trolls, she was the one making it awful. Well, she gone now, and in my opinion, Impact Wrestling has gone from a trailer park to Pervert Park fast. Yes, Pervert Park is a real place, look it up.
No, it's not trashy like when WWE was good in my childhood and rated TV-14. It just sucks on a different level. First of all, when the new owners took over, they let their biggest star go, in Broken Matt Hardy, and his brother Jeff. Yes, I hated the Broken Matt Hardy character at first, but he grew on me. And now I'm pissed that he's gone and part of me is wondering why I'm still watching Impact. Yes, there is Aron Rex aka Damien Sandow, who I fucking love, but of course he has not really been on TV since the new owners took over... poor bastard was always over looked in WWE, despite the fans loving him, and now he's getting the same shitty treatment in Impact. Sure, I don't care that Drew Galloway is gone, he was boring in WWE and Impact. Along with some lame wrestlers who left. I am pissed about Maria and Mike Bennett, I liked them before they were on Impact, when I used to see them at Independent Northeast Wrestling shows. Yes, they were heels that you love to hate, and every wrestling company needs heels that you love to hate. Plus Maria is so fucking hott, and I loved her back in her WWE days when she did a whole lot of nothing, except date every wrestler in the locker room. But look at some of the assholes they've brought in... Alberto El PAtron aka Alberto Del Rio. How many times has this fucker been fired from WWE for failing drug tests, or just generally being a dick to people? The fucked up part is, he has been brought in as the new big acquisition to the company and is fighting Bobby Lashley(another snore fest fired from WWE and not quite good enough to make it in UFC so fights in Bellator aka poor mans Brock Lesnar)...for the the Impact Wrestling Heavyweight Championship, which he will sadly probably win. I guess Alberto whatever the fuck you want to call him isn't that bad, I mean he was nice to me when I met him, see picture below. But, I'd much rather watch Broken Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Mike Bennett and Maria any day over that guy!
Here are some of the other great new characters that have been brought in:
-A tag team of Mexican wrestlers who are so sucky and lame I can't even remember anything distinguishing about them. Here's a picture... oh God, I'm bored just looking at it. According to Impact Wrestling, they don't even know who these losers are.
-Next is Reno Scum, where to begin with Reno Scum...First of all, I'm pretty sure they are White Supremacists... for real, I'm not even kidding. For some reason, they have British accents, or something sounding like that, and they yell Oi Oi Oi all the time, because that makes you bad ass! Also, why do you have accents when your from Reno Nevada. One of them literally has "Reno" tattooed on himself,.. Why the fuck would you put that on your body? That would be like me having "Waterbury" tattooed on myself... Nobody from those places even wants to admit they are from there! I have nothing against these guys really, and I don't blame them for taking Impact's money and trying to make some money for themselves and get some attention, but I'm literally waiting for the day they get fired for posting White Supremacist stuff on social media. No, do not interpret that the wrong way, I don't support the fact I think they are White Supremacists, I support them taking money and trying to become famous! But seriously, Impact Wrestling, you let the Hardy's go and had these guys beat Decay, the one tag team left in Impact that I like, because you think these tools are the future of tag team wrestling in Impact? Take a look for yourselves at Reno Scum below.
-Also, there is I don't even know who these fuckers are, except I know their leader was Conan in WCW and on Lucha Underground, but he looks like he's about 60 years old and as qualified to wrestle as I would be. The worst part is they literally stereotype him and his group as Hispanic gang bangers. First of all, some of them come out with Mexican flags, some have Cuban, and some have Puerto Rican flags, so make up your mind where you guys are from, because you're also called "LAX", for reasons unknown. To make them extra classy, they have gunshots going off in their entrance music and they make gun hand gestures entering the ring and after they win a match. Oh, and did I mention, after they win the match, they drape flags over their opponents, so not only does it look like their opponents are dead, but I'm pretty sure that's what gang members do after they kill someone from a rival gang. Keeping it classy Impact Wrestling! Here's this band of misfits.
-Finally, my least favorite story line of all , which is getting a huge push right now...Josh fucking Matthews. This dweeb couldn't make it as a wrestler in WWE, so he became an announcer and they even hated him doing that so they fired him from that after way too many years in my opinion. For some reason, Impact Wrestling thought he was a "big get", and replaced Jeremy Borash, Mike Tenay, and Taz with Matthews and Da Pope.... BARF, don't even get me started on why this is terrible because it would be a separate blog post all together! Yes, I just found out Matthews is married to five time former Impact Wrestling Knockout Champion Madison Rayne... but she hardly wrestles now and is mostly an announcer during the Knockout matches. Well the most recent episode of Impact featured a two week story arc building up that "she" was coming... stupid me actually thought "she" might be someone interesting. Nope, not Impact Wrestling. It was only Karen Jarrett, who is the wife of Jeff Jarrett. I believe Jeff and his dad founded Impact Wrestling and both worked there for awhile before leaving to start another wrestling company. Not quite sure why his wife came back, or why it was a big deal, or why Josh Matthews was crapping his pants about it, because God forbid Impact Wrestling explain the past story lines. But this was their main event story line for the last episode. Really? The wife of the former owner having beef with the announcer everybody fucking hates anyway is your main event story line? I get why everybody hates Josh Matthews he's an annoying tool and not an original to Impact, but why am I supposed to care that the wife of Jeff Jarrett is back, she never wrestled, as far as I know. Also, what is her problem with Matthews, who she said she'll fire. I'm assuming not in real life, or is the problem supposed to be with his wife? The episode ended with her bitch slapping him, because nothing says drama and I can't wait to tune in next week, like the wife of a former main event wrestler feuding with a dorky announcer. What's next? David Arquette winning the World Heavyweight Title, thanks to a suggestion by Vince Russo. Look it up if you don't know wrestling history... it really happened and it's really as awful as it sounds and I think Impact Wrestling is about five episodes away from him or Dutch Mantell aka Zeb Colter being champion again, and that's why Impact Wrestling will never over take the WWE. Hell, it might not even survive into the next decade! For those that want to see, here's a photo of David Arquette as the WCW World Heavyweight Champion. To put it into perspective, it would be like James Ellsworth being the WWE champ!
No comments:
Post a Comment