Fuck you Anonymous and Jimmy Dicklow

Today was another awesome day where nothing is ever simple. First, I tried to go return empties to the redemption center in Wallingford but it was closed. Therefore I had to go to Stop and Shop to return them. This is when I realized it was a bad idea to return empties on a Friday. There was this old fart guy hogging the plastic machine not to mention the room was barley big enough for the 3 people in it never mind me and my giant wheelchair. Then once old man (Sean Connery) stopped hogging the machine I was finally able to finish an hour later. Then on the way into the store this crazy bitch with mental problems who looked like my crazy art teacher from my high school days, cut in front of us. When my worker and I gave her a dirty look she proceeded to tell us to go to hell. She must have had a lot of sand in her vagina. She got a nice F U gesture for that. Luckily, we were able to rush home in time to get my fat lard cat to the Vet. He weighs in at a whooping 16.9 pounds which is almost as big as my other cat Charlie who is 17 pounds but twice the length. My cats apparently need to go on the Biggest Loser Cat Edition.

Then there was the post office. Sorry to my uncle in advance if you are reading this because you work there. However, the people that work in the one in my town are legit short bus riding window lickers. My personal favorite is the guy that obsessively wraps boxes with tape for Priority Mail about 115 times as loud as possible.  Why does he do this? Because according to him they cannot have any exposed edges. On top of that I made the mistake of opening a PO Box there. I signed up for this on the post office website thinking it would be easier. That was a stupid assumption, when I went on Wednesday they told me because I had done it online I had to wait til Friday to get the keys for the box. Today when I went, it was 12:20pm and they told me the lady was on her lunch break and would be back at 12:30pm. However I could not wait around because I had to do other errands. So I go back 3:45pm because the post office is open until 5pm and not only is this fat piece of shit old lady eating a tangerine parked like this in a handicapped spot, but apparently magical key lady left at 3:30pm and somehow I am supposed to know this.

And no one else except Pam can give me this key. Well Pam you should work for President Obama because it would be easier to meet him than it is to get some fucking PO Box keys. But she'll be in tomorrow. Thanks to Cindy, the overly happy annoying bitch that told me this. Well happy Cindy I can't go tomorrow for the god damn boil on my side I need to go see my Dr about. Here is a gross picture of said boil: