Haters gunna hate

So for those uninformed readers of this shit, and I feel sorry for you, I live in a little town called Cheshire Connecticut. I hate it for many many reasons, but unfortunately I will probably be stuck here til the day I die. Unless I can ever stop gambling, actually save money, and convince the work wife to take me to North Carolina with her. Anyways, why I hate Cheshire: this stupid town is most famous because of the Petit family murders, which makes everybody think it is this big scary place to live in. The truth is though that it's full of rich, old, mostly racist, white people or some combination of those categories. Most people here think they are better than you just because they have money and god forbid you don't and they are not afraid to show it. The reason I only talk to two people I grew up with in this shitty town is because most of you thought you were too cool or too good to hangout with the crippled kid. But that's okay right now all you work at crappy mediocre jobs, reliving your high school days because that is when your life peaked. I'm getting more action at 30 than you probably ever did haha. But I'm not bitter or anything. Truthfully, now that I wrote this I finally feel better after 13 years.


I also hate the cops in this town. They literally do nothing expect bust up high school parties, check on old people, and pick up roadkill. Plus, they definitely could have saved the Petit family's daughters, watch the HBO documentary and you will see.  However, not all, but most of them are self-entitled pricks who think their shit don't stink. Perfect example today: I went to the Cheshire police station today thinking they would actually help me get the lady who sideways parked in the one handicapped spot at the post office yesterday. But the douche bag cops said there is nothing they can do because for all they know I took a picture of her while she was driving. Yeah, I have it out for this lady that I framed her illegally parking in the handicapped space without a placard, with a clearly marked sign, while she's sitting in the driver's seat stuffing her fat ugly face with a tangerine. I will be writing to the newspapers and TV stations about this because I can do a better job than the cops in this town that are allegedly serving to protect us.

 Finally, I am trying to turn the van into an uber. Just have to convince my mom to let me. At least then I can start paying off some of my debt to her and everyone else. Plus, who wouldn't want to take a ride in the cripple van? Seriously, it's a pretty sweet ride and how many people can say they have done it. And who wouldn't want this adorable face coming to pick them up?

Please don't forget to donate to gofundme.com/robertsnewvan to help me Uber people around in a brand new cripple van. Or buy a hilarious shirt at booster.com/freerobert .  These funny posts don't pay for themselves.