And in other news my sister and brother in law are still assholes

Thanks for hacking me brother in law and deleting all my shit but next time do a better job of deleting everything. And sister stay out of my Facebook unless you wanna find shit you didn't wanna know about me. Full disclosure here is what there is to know: I'm overweight, physically disabled, 30 year old man still living with his Mom in the god awful place of Cheshire CT, who has 2 useless college degrees but somehow just got a job writing again, and enjoys strippers, gambling, skanks, sports, sluts, movies and oh did I mention fetish porn? Particularly feet and armpits ... sorry Mom. Your son is a freak. Just kidding I'm more into clown porn these days, and people think I'm joking, but am I? Aren't you glad you learned that about your brother?

In other news there was human urine all over my house yesterday ... don't worry there is a photo to prove it... and don't worry surprisingly Gimpy cleaned it and me up without me having to ask. I don't wanna get too detailed into my bathroom habits unless you have some cripple bathroom porn fetishes and wanna pay me for them then let me know. Long story short I was taking a whiz when suddenly I heard a dripping sound on the floor. Yup, somehow my piss was getting all over the floor. And not just the floor oh no no no. On the seat of my wheelchair, my ceiling lift pad, my shirt, my pants, and somehow it even went down to my socks and shoes. Not to mention the river from the computer room to my bedroom! And oh yeah did I mention that my cat Miley threw up on my  bed earlier that day, and then Flappy threw up all over the kitchen later that day. And double oh yeah, did I mention Gimpy can't deal with puke, and was practically was puking herself cleaning up cat puke. Not sure how you becoming a nurse is gonna work Gimpy, but I guess you weren't bothered by all my piss so there is still hope. So what we did is put 2 bed pads and 2 layers of towels on my bed since there was no sheets on my bed thanks to Miley, and transferred me from my wheelchair to my bed with pee dripping everywhere and I mean everywhere it was in my raccoon wounds. I had her get a garbage bag and throw every pee soaked article of clothing including my shoes in it and sent it to be incinerated immediately. Then we couldn't find and basins to put soap and water in so she had to fill up an empty baby wipe container and scrub me off with a wash cloth everywhere. How is that for a sexy image? Along with pee pad and pee towels, nothing was left safe, including Gimpy. It was my 9/11. There was everything that happened before Urine-gate with Gimpy and now everything that has happened after. Don't worry I made her an emergency relief kit for the next time she is here, if she ever comes back. I wouldn't blame her if she didn't. This is what I get for hiring former strippers to help me with my bathroom routine... insert stripper and penis joke here! And not in her mouth, Eww I even grossed myself out with that one. Until next time stay classy Connecticut!