Walmart

So yesterday I had a really exciting day. First, like the classy cripple I am, I went and got my stuff out of pawn. Hey at least I bought it back..nobody is getting my 2003 CHS class ring, David Wright autographed baseball, and my 2005 New York Mets team autographed baseball unless it's the wife in my divorce or will or some sucker willing to pay wayyyyyyyyyyy to much money for it on ebay. I have to make money somehow. The good news is the New Britain Independent's office is not wheelchair accessible, but I don't really have to go there yet, I can still work from home. Also, the more they start paying for other expenses the sooner they can start paying their writers. In the mean time besides my hilarious Spooner shirts and handicapped lives matter shirts, I will soon be adding these to hilarious shirts to my Cripple Creation business.

Speaking of Trump it appears that the world is ending and he is about to become the republican presidential nominee, now that Cruz and Kasich have dropped out of the race. Hopefully, I will read this one day and laugh that he almost became president of the United States. If not I will be crying when I am reading this from my new home in Canada or Puerto Rico. Yup, I am going to become a creepy Canadian just like the worker I always make fun of. I'll start buying flannel and researching hockey and maple syrup prices now just in case. On the other side, I love Bernie despite him looking like the Crypt Keeper, but he needs to drop out as well. I don't like Hillary either but come on dude you need about 90% of remaining delegates to get the nomination and my dream ticket of Trump/Seacrest has a better chance of happening. For those who don't get it like the creepy Canadian it is my dream ticket because people in this country are so dumb that one of the two major political parties in this country has nominated someone for president that has no political experience, is a business man who has filed bankruptcy at least 3 times, says our current president is from Africa not racist at all, thinks all Mexicans and people from the Middle East are terrorists or rapists, makes fun of cripples, says he has all these ideals to fix our country, but has no answers when asked how he will execute these ideas, and is best known for being a host of a reality show. Well, if a reality host is who this country wants as president why not another reality show host named Ryan Seacrest as vice president? Since I don't want to vote for Hillary either and will simply be voting for a president basked on who they pick to be their vice president I say why not Trump/Seacrest 2016! It's better than Trump/Bergeron.

Finally the rest of my day was spent grocery shopping with my food stamps like all classy people. First I went to Stop & Shop and bought such healthy things as ice cream and chocolate milk. Of course this weird creepy old guy kept getting in my way everywhere I went to buy stuff. Later on I saw him just standing in the magazine aisle reading one from cover to cover, thinking how sad he probably sits here all day doing that because he has nothing better to do all day. So what did I do when I was in Walmart later that day read a wrestling magazine from cover to cover because ya know I had to kill an hour before I had to pick up my nasty throat infection medicine from CVS, fuck you asthmanax inhaler! I was being nice for once and helping my worker pick up things she needed during her shift because apparently she is crazy busy this week. While shopping I purchased an Iron Sheik action figure because I am 12, candy for the wife and her roommate, and litters with a pickle on them for the wife because ya know she smokes like a chimney and pickles look like dicks. Yup I am classy and very mature. I also bought a hilarious white trash shirt for the mom for mothers day..not my actual mom the mom that works for me, the shirt says #1 mom. I also saw this mess in the magazine aisle at Walmart!