Waka Flaka Flame

So I was watching Clash of Champions the other night on WWE network and there's I believe he was... I'm not sure how he does it or affords it, I mean shit I sat at the front row at a wrestling show once and it was $500... totally worth it. I got water spit on me and got to watch grown men in their underwear climb all over each other, that's totally not gay or anything. Anyway, anytime I watch a pay per view on WWE network I always notice as I believe it to be him. Seriously, is he a relative of one of the wrestlers? Or maybe one of them is into trannies? For the record, nothing against gay people or trannies I love watching I am Cait on the E network and hope to meet her one day. Anybody that stars in a movie with the Village People and then on CHiPs is alright in my book. Look it up dammit its true. But yeah I always go back and forth if this person is a guy or girl. They have long hair, but their arms are jacked and they usually wear tank tops or tight fitting shirts or pants. Yet, there are no boobs to speak of. But there they always are in the front row of every pay per view and occasionally Smackdown or Raw. Here is pictures of said person. The first one is scary as fuck I did so intentionally. The second one gives you a better look. I need to figure out more info about this person like who they are, how they always sit in the front row at WWE shows, and maybe can they get me in the front row?

In other news, my cat Flapjack aka Flappy is a fat dick. Seriously, he runs around the house climbing on the kitchen counter or table when he is not suppose to be up there and either knocks everything on the floor or tries to eat my bananas. When he's not doing that he's running between every door in the house crying to go out even though he's an indoor cat. Then, when you open the door to let him in the screened in porch or the garage when the doors are shut he won't go, or if he does he takes about 5 steps, sits there, and tries to come back in in 2 minutes. Meowing at the top of his lungs the whole time he's by the door. However, if you do not pay enough attention to him or open the door to fake let him out he'll jump up on the stand where I keep my workers' timesheets and then knock them purposely on the floor. He then triumphantly lays on top of them in total victory as if to say fuck you for not letting me outside. For these reasons I finally submitted him to cat shaming on instagram, yes its a thing look it up, and I know that its pathetic that I know this. Here is some photos of the asshole in action.

Tim Tebow hit a home run in his first at bat on the first pitch during his first game in the instructional league for the Mets. Fucking christ of course this would happen. It took Michael Jordan over 300 at bats to hit his first minor league home run and of course Tebow does it on the first pitch on his first at bat. I already know whats going to happen. Because the Mets are always the second class baseball team in New York to the Yankees, the Mets will call him up to the major league roster next September when the roster expands if he shows any signs of talent. Not only will it guess jesus freaks and girls that love them some Tebow to come to games but it will make the Mets lots of money. If there is one thing the Mets will do its anything to make a lot of money. Who knows though nobody thought he would be a good quarterback and he won the Heisman and made the playoffs in the NFL. Plus, he was Allstate in baseball back in 05' but I also weighed 150 back then. But I also could write this shit by myself back then. So lets just say a lot can change in 11 years.

Finally, since I'm going to Vegas again Feb 6-9th, flying Jetblue from JFK to Vegas and back and staying at the MGM because I got 2 free nights. I'm trying to make/save money any way possible. Therefore, here is a list of some of my upcoming shows where I do stand up comedy and sell my hilarious shirts:

9/29   9pm Vines on Church in Middletown
10/4   7pm  Open Mic at the Funny Bone (Manchester Mall)
10/6  10pm  Comix in Mohegan Sun (tickets are $10 and I need at least 4 people to show up)
Purchase tickets here
11/17  10pm Comix in Mohegan Sun (Tickets are $10 and I need at least 4 people to go)
purchase tickets here
Plus I believe I'll be doing a show again in West Haven sometime in October and who knows where else. Check my blog for updates. These are the 4 shirts I sell after all my shows and if you'd like to see other designs or purchase one online click here