Finally have my first 3 shirts ready for order just have to come up with the money. The good part is they only cost $10.00 a piece, so when I sell them I am going to make $10.00 a shirt off of them. The first 3 will be the beer one with a slight alteration, the crack is whack minus Whitney Houston on the back and finally my favorite of all: Handicapped lives matter. Now if I can actually sell it maybe people will take it seriously. I will keep my wheels crossed. And don't worry Dr Crazypants since I know you are stalking this because you clearly have nothing better to do with your life, there are no Lip products anymore even though all of my products were legit anyways Dumbass.
Today I was going through old family photos and it's always a bit disturbing when you find photos of your Dad in a speedo or his best friend jumping on a bed in his underwear or less. Yes I know everybody was young once but it's so weird to see that crazy side of the family. There is also some scary ass photos of me that should be burnt. Here is a hot one:
For my last bitch fit of the night I have noticed the sad, sad downfall of some people that use to be quite famous. First of all, was Billy Baldwin doing a commercial on ESPN for the national Collegiate Wrestling Championships. Okay I know Alec is really the only famous one but dude I don't even think Daniel the drunk/pervert or Steven the Buttface who would do anything for money would do that. Okay they probably would. Or Depends commercial like Gronk... but that guy is a douche. Oh wait so are most of the Baldwins. But seriously other Baldwins you will never be as famous as Alec so can't you just mooch off of him and go away. Nobody gives a shit about you anyways.
Next is the sad, sad case of Craig Kilborn. Who is that you ask? Exactly, he Brian Dunklemaned his career away. Yeah I know none of you know who Dunkleman is either! He was the other host of American Idol the first season and then disappeared off of the face of the Earth. I'm assuming he lives in his parents basement now telling his cats to use AT&T phone to call/text your votes while you drink Coke and see who goes home on the next episode of American Idol. Well Kilborn id Dunkleman times 10. First, he quit as one of the hosts of Sportscenter to be the original host of the Daily Show. I swear to God it's true look it up Dr Crazypants! He then left that show and got replaced by Jon Stewart, who ya know only successful hosted that show for 16 years and is way more famous now because of it. Don't get me started on the guy who replaced Stewart. First of all he's as funny as a fart in the middle of Church. And second, he is from South Africa and hosting a show about US politics. Really Comedy Central? This was the best comedian you came up with? What about that guy that smashes watermelons... if he is still alive he was funny like ya know 30 years ago. Anyways back to Kilborn. After the brilliant move of quitting the Daily Show he disappeared for a while. Probably to yell at cars driving by him in New York City. Saying "Hey I use to host the Daily Show, and be a serious sports reporter... would you have any spare change?" Next time I saw his pathetic ass was in a bit part in the movie Old School. Not surprisingly he played a douche bag. Somehow from this he got a job hosting one of the Late Night shows on CBS... but guess what he did. After a few year run with that, he quit again! This fucking idiot never learns. So, what did I most recently see him in? A Kraft macaroni and cheese commercial. Holy Crap dude you gave up Sportscenter, the Daily Show and a late night talk show on a major network so you could sell macaroni and cheese? I hope Kraft at least gave you a lifetime supply because I have a feeling that might be the only way you can feed them. Who knows, it's Hollywood maybe he'll get a part on The Walking Dead or some other hit show just to quit a few years later.
I saved the saddest celebrity fall from grace for last. Katherine Heigl. 10 years ago she was the star of the biggest TV show on TV at the time in Grey's Anatomy. Then she made Knocked Up with Seth Rogen and decided she was too good for a TV show and was gonna become a big movie star. To spare her embarrassment I won't mention the names of these movies. But trust me in some countries they would execute her for how shitty they were. Except for The Ringer, which is a movie no one knows about but is fucking hilarious. Nobody played retard like Johnny Knoxville, no offense to him, but I don't think it was much of a stretch for him. I actually felt bad for her because A I use to think she was really Hot. B I heard Grey's Anatomy doesn't want her back because she is a massive bitch to work with allegedly. So now she can't even Joanie Loves Chachi her way back to a hit TV show. Since I know nobody will get that reference. Joanie Loves Chachi was a spin off of the show Happy Days that even Scott Baio called a "cesspool" aka a shit hole. Aka Waterbury. Luckily for them after Joanie Loves Chachi was cancelled, Happy Days was still on the air. So they put them back on Happy Days for it's last season. Katherine Heigl isn't going to Scott Baio her way out of this one. Last thing I saw her advertised in was some stupid show on NBC that even I don't remember the name of that got cancelled without even running a whole season. That was until the other day when what did I see her in a fucking cat litter commercial. Holy shit she's selling shit. Or at least the stuff that cats shit on in a box. This is sadder than when I found out Santa Claus wasn't real. It's like when there was this really hot girl in high school that you were madly in love with and then 15 years later you see her at your reunion and she weighs 300lbs has 4 kids hanging off of her. Pulls up in her Minivan screaming at them and her balding fat husband looking like she quit on life in 2008. Kinda like Katherine Heigl did on her career. I'm gonna go pour one out on the curb in remembrance of her career. Later Folks!
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