Wild and Crazy Kids

I have not done much lately big surprise I know. I did get nice generic emails from two of the jobs I applied for, that said they are reviewing applicants. That is basically means yea fuck off we are not going to hire someone better.

So the other day, I went to drive somewhere with Penelope, which is what I call the van and I found this lovely member in the front of the vehicle. Yes folks that is a feminine product, and I have no idea why it was just sitting in my van!

 Besides that Penelope has decided to start playing I am only going to blow out hot air when the van is moving. It feels as awesome as it sounds but it is not so bad. It does this about once a year or so. It just sucks in the summer when there is just no cold air. One time I made the mistake of driving to Mohegan sun in July with no air conditioning and I feel bad for who ever was sitting next to me at the tables that day, because I probably smelt like a butt. I was sweating more then a whore going to church on the way there.


So, Donald Trump or Hilary Clinton are most likely going to become the nominees for president. This along with them possibly finding the O.J. murder weapon might be the three signs of the apocalypse. Just took my worker five tries to spell apocalypse with me sitting here spelling it for her. This is what I am working with folks. Maybe now that I am 30 I should transition from hot college girls in there 20's to old fat moms, because at least they have a brain. Plus, the wife not open up so much hateraid, yes I just really wrote that. It is also embarrassing when said worker finds porno on your phone while you are trying to text the wife... besides my worker wanting to burn her eyes out, I also realized I will never get any privacy. The joys of being a hardcore cripple. Cripple for life word!

Anyways back to O.J. for a second. I think the likelihood of this knife being the murder weapon is about the same as that lady really finding a finger in her Wendy's chili. Is anyone else hungry for chili now. But seriously folks, why would you keep a famous murder weapon for ya know about 17/18 years. That is about as likely as me not selling valuable items on ebay to pay off my massive debt. I will say I am loving the O.J. Simpson mini series on FX. First of all, you have Ross from Friends playing Robert Kardashian, who is probably rolling over in his grave knowing this,  but this is hilarious casting to me. Also, lets not forget John Travolta putting all that plastic surgery to work as Bob Shapiro. Plus mad props for Theo from the Cosby show playing famous Bronco driver AC Collins. Finally, there is Cuba Gooding Jr. playing O.J. if this is what happens after you win an Oscar, then damit I do not want to win an Oscar. Unless I can say thank you to all the little people I stepped on to get here! Anyways back to Cuba, did you know he is the brother Omar Gooding, my favorite Gooding! Why you ask? Oh you know because he only hosted my favorite tv show on Nickelodeon growing up, Wild and Crazy Kids. Also, lets not forget his stunning two year run as Mo Tibbs on Smart Guy, he was robbed by the academy of an Emmy for his fabulous role... But lets not forget his very special episode when Mo finds out he is really adopted. I am shedding a tear right now just thinking about it. PS if anyone can tell me what happened to Donnie Jeffcoat I will buy you a Big Mac... Drop the microphone!